Unsaid

 Too many times, I've chosen to leave things unsaid. Whether it was heartbreak or when feeling butterflies in my stomach. Too much has been left unsaid and fear has always kept me from even trying in the first place.

We're taught as younglings that kindness, generosity, empathy, etc. are virtues and morals that we must hold dear. That these are principles to live by. And yet, I look around and see that this world seems to barely give a crap. And the few half-decent human beings still trudging through the mud and filth are usually beaten down to within an inch of breaking point.

I used to wonder what it would be like if we were just a little bit kinder, to nature, each other, and the thousands if not millions of species of flora and fauna we share this blue marble with. Hell even being mindful would've sufficed.

Then a little while ago, when in a dark place I let myself think that there's no point, That this world is doomed and so is everyone in it. That our children will inherit a planet beyond repair and their children most likely will have nothing but piles of rubble to call home.

Honestly, I'd given up. And I didn't believe that recovering from such heartbreak was ever possible. Until that is, I heard a voice. A voice, that's been there all along, for longer than I can remember, egging me on. To take just one more step, To wake up in the morning to see just one more day. and then repeat the process till the pain starts to fade.

Of course, the pain is still there, but it doesn't take center stage in my life anymore. And unlike earlier, it likely won't ever again. 

Over the years I've learned that life teaches us lessons. That we can learn from in order to be better human beings. But that only happens as long as we're living life, and not merely spectating as it passes us by. 

I've learned that it's okay to hurt, for a while. And that it's okay, probably imperative, that we learn to let go. Only then can we make way for something new. Something worth fighting for. Something that cannot be left unsaid.

I say these things as a man who until recently was but a hollow shell of a man that was once fascinated by the world, who trusted in people, and knew how to love unconditionally. A man who broke and lost faith in all those principles he had believed in. A man in chronic pain.

Today though, I stand taller, stronger, and perhaps even sharper than ever. 

I admit, There's no way to tell how the next chapter of this story will go. The point is that there IS a next chapter.  And this time, I'd rather not leave anything unsaid.