Dear Fellow Men

Today I'm Angry. not like I'm not usually angry on a regular tuesday. Let me give you some context.

I did something unusual today. for someone who has trouble sleeping. I took a nap late in the evening. A little after that, say in 15 minutes of scrolling through Instagram and I was furious, Like my blood was boiling to the point it felt like my eyes would pop. Fifteen Minutes and no less than 4 different reports of violence against women.

My question to my fellow men out there is what the hell happened?

How did we go from being little mommas boys and following our mums around like puppies to talking down to them when they tell us they're worried for us?

How did we go from being little kids who wanted to grow up to be our favourite superheroes to actually growing up to be, well for lack of a better word, monsters?

Who taught you that it's okay to catcall a woman who's minding her own business and just walking down the street, in broad daylight no less?  

Who gave you the authority to tell your wife or daughter or girlfriend that she was verbally or sexually assaulted because of something SHE did or said or because she drinks or smokes or of the way she was dressed?

I ask because I don't remember being told that it was okay to behave this way. Not at home, definitely not at the schools I went to and it's most certainly not how the friends I grew up with think or behave.

Yes we live in a society that's been patriarchal since forever. We've been discussing equality on the bases of cast, creed, colour, sex, sexual orientation and god knows what else for decades now. And STILL it only feels like we're becoming worse. 

How is it that we as men can walk around at all times of the night, whether in groups or even by ourselves and be okay with the fact that we tell our wives, girlfriends, sisters and female friends that it's NOT safe and they shouldn't be out by themselves. 

I agree though. It isn't safe. But neither is riding a motorcycle or raising a rottweiler without proper training. But we do those things anyway. Why? because it makes us more "macho" than the rest? Or just because those of us who chose to take that chance are "brave"?

How is it that when a woman still chooses to dress however she wishes or goes out with her friends that instead of say making sure they're safe and maybe even leave them be, there are those of us that decide we have the right to touch them or even say the most disgusting things to them?

Look. There's a chance that there still are atleast a few decent men out there. and to those of you, I ask that you stick by what you believe is right and treat the women in your life with respect above everything else. AND stand up for them when you see or hear of them being treated as anything less than being treated the way YOU would like.

And IF you see someone or know someone who has or talks about or even THINKS about assaulting a woman. Start chopping bits off of them. Screw consequences. there are over a billion of us. Losing a bunch won't really matter. Especially if it makes it a better place to live in.

Dear Women, 

I'm sorry this world and more specifically this country isn't a safe place for you to live in. And we don't deserve you. That's the truth. 

BUT, every so often you will meet a guy who goes out of his way to make your day. Who'd drive across the city to spend FIVE minutes with you. Someone who, even in this day and age brings you flowers, or writes you notes, for no reason whatsoever. A guy who once couldn't do much in a kitchen except boil water but spends hours, even days learning how to make you pancakes. And all this not because he'd like to get in your pants. But because it would make you happy

These men may not know what to say or do all the time simply because they understand you're constantly dealing with jerks sliding into your dms and sending you dick pics and want to in no way make you feel uncomfortable. 

One day these men will have their spirits break. Maybe even on more than one occasion. And all it'll take for their faith in humanity to be restored would be to know that you still believe in them and appreciate them. 

Dear Parents,

We've all got our busy schedules and work and family lives to deal with. But using "Log kya kahenge (what will people say)" as an excuse to tell your daughter she has to be home by sundown and allowing your son to be out till 3 am isn't right.

Scolding your teenage son that he should be paying attention to what's in his books instead of the cute girl he has a crush on May not be the right way to handle the situation.

Maybe, just MAYBE understanding , relating and explaining that this is all normal for a teenager and showing them how to behave might just mean the difference between him growing up to treating his wife/girlfriend or even random women on the street with respect or being an abusive husband and father.