Cherish

I've often said that I'm what they call, "Old School".

I believe that it's always going to be the little things that matter most.

What I had forgotten is that these, so called, little things matter a LOT more when you realize a few things.

Life messes with us all.
It's all one big lesson.
All those disappointments, regrets and heartbreaks culminate in preparing us for one singularity. One event that hits us so hard that we realize more than anything, that she gives you purpose. Of the million, billion of things wrong with this world, She is  the One aspect of your lives you would go through hell and back for.

Simply put, Every decision adds variables to the equation that is our lives, and SHE is the one constant you need to solve the damn equation.

I bring this up because I've remembered that the women in our lives are, and always will be the foundation and pillars of strength for everything we build.

We often forget to appreciate them for all they are and all they make us.
We forget that, as they are the source of our strength, WE must be the source of theirs.

I made a promise once. A promise to be kind and generous and to love unconditionally.

Today, Hayati I make that same Promise to you.

I will never, EVER forget how you smile and I promise to do everything in my power to keep you smiling.

I AM old school.

I believe that making her smile and cherishing her for everything she is, is worth a lot more than all the possessions in the world.

I believe that simply holding her for a few moments can lift the burden of all her sorrows. even if it's just for those few moments.

And I KNOW, that no matter what happens next. You, Hayati, will be the one singular reason I look forward to waking up every morning.

And yes, I realize that all this may seem corny and borderline cliche. But that really is what I believe.

Agony

Agony, is feeling this way and not knowing if  she sees it.

Agony, is seeing the pain in her eyes and wishing you could make it stop.

Agony, is patiently waiting with your heart in your hand only to realize it's your phone you're staring at.

Agony, is telling yourself it'll all be okay and knowing you'll have to go through hell and then some before it is.

Agony, is hearing your soul break in two each time she has to leave.

Agony, is wanting to kiss her softly not knowing if she'd kiss you back.

Agony, is Knowing you can make her smile but feeling like it's not your place to.

Agony, is the insomnia till you're sure she's okay and she's safe.

Happiness, is her fingers between yours, the sound of her voice and nothing else.

From this moment Forth

We all are capable of feeling a full range of emotions from what seems like an endless spectrum.

Of these one most of us dread is Pain.

I on the other hand believe that pain is an emotion that shapes us more than most other feelings.

Yes there's a lot of pain and suffering in the world.
Most of which are caused by individuals that are a disgrace to mankind as a collective.

But the hard truth is there will always be pain and suffering. Usually a lot more than we'd expect.

The point, I believe, like I've said oh so many times is that when we're old and grey we aren't going to remember every minute, every second of our lives. It's going to be more like match day highlights for Sunday night's game.

We'll remember a handful of moments we've had throughout our lives, each moment will trigger a series of memories to reminisce on.

These will remind us of every single life changing event or having met someone you could attribute the course of the remainder of your life to.

What matters in the end is whether all these moments end with a smile or with a heavy heart.

Now yes, I know, based on the title, all this looks like it's quite a bit out of context.

Here's my point.
I believe that I've reached a chapter in the book that will one day be my memoirs, that will , without a doubt, change every decision I will make from this moment forth.

The Good news, I may just make it afterall.

The bad news, pure Agony.