There was a time in my life when I felt nothing. A time, at which I was my weakest.
I had become so numb, maybe even heartless??
I even went to the extent of trying, actually making myself feel pain, sometimes physical, almost always psychological. Since the latter seems to have no boundaries when it comes to the extent of pain it can cause one to feel.
I believed that pain was the only feeling I could feel. And that my tiny stupid heart had been damaged so badly that it couldn’t feel anything else.
Feeling pain, physical or psychological, made me feel alive. Made me feel like I wasn’t just a living breathing bag of flesh and bones. As if I actually lived and not merely existed as a miniscule, irrelevant entity on this planet.
I cannot express how much you mean to me. I simply cannot. Though I may not have to.
I want you to understand that “there is no way I would let go of you” not unless YOU wanted me to from every bit of your heart.
And PLEASE do not think about disappointing me. That simply isn’t possible. The ONLY thing that can break my heart is you falling in love with another man. But in that case I cannot be cross with you. It is what your heart desires, and I have no right to force you to think otherwise.
I’m sorry that I’ve made you cry. And that I’ve made you angry (li’l bit). And maybe just smile a little with tears in your eyes when u read the “li’l bit”. MAYBE.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve said stupid things and for all the times that I may say stupid things in the future.
I’m sorry that I cannot be there to hold you and that I cannot promise you I will be there tomorrow.
However, what I am NOT sorry for, and never EVER will be sorry for, is falling in love with YOU.
You may not think of yourself as much, that’s alright. One day you’ll see yourself through my eyes and you will see How Beautiful you are, How Amazing you are, and how simply PERFECT you are.
I had become so numb, maybe even heartless??
I even went to the extent of trying, actually making myself feel pain, sometimes physical, almost always psychological. Since the latter seems to have no boundaries when it comes to the extent of pain it can cause one to feel.
I believed that pain was the only feeling I could feel. And that my tiny stupid heart had been damaged so badly that it couldn’t feel anything else.
Feeling pain, physical or psychological, made me feel alive. Made me feel like I wasn’t just a living breathing bag of flesh and bones. As if I actually lived and not merely existed as a miniscule, irrelevant entity on this planet.
I cannot express how much you mean to me. I simply cannot. Though I may not have to.
I want you to understand that “there is no way I would let go of you” not unless YOU wanted me to from every bit of your heart.
And PLEASE do not think about disappointing me. That simply isn’t possible. The ONLY thing that can break my heart is you falling in love with another man. But in that case I cannot be cross with you. It is what your heart desires, and I have no right to force you to think otherwise.
I’m sorry that I’ve made you cry. And that I’ve made you angry (li’l bit). And maybe just smile a little with tears in your eyes when u read the “li’l bit”. MAYBE.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve said stupid things and for all the times that I may say stupid things in the future.
I’m sorry that I cannot be there to hold you and that I cannot promise you I will be there tomorrow.
However, what I am NOT sorry for, and never EVER will be sorry for, is falling in love with YOU.
You may not think of yourself as much, that’s alright. One day you’ll see yourself through my eyes and you will see How Beautiful you are, How Amazing you are, and how simply PERFECT you are.
